The Social Excellence Project

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Curiosity: I Have Some Questions

by Matt Mattson

Why do so many people suggest that being curious is something for children (or cats)? Shouldn't adults be curious? Aren't super-curious adults some of the most intelligent, interesting, and easy-to-connect-with people you know?

Why do so many people fail to appreciate curiosity? Isn't curiosity the only realy method we have to tap into the life wisdom of other humans? Isn't it our only tactic for mental growth? Isn't it the only way to learn?

Why do so many people take curiosity for granted? Do most people in your life consistently ask great questions that lead to great conversations? Do most people you know have pro level curiosity skills, or are they curiosity-challenged? Have you ever noticed how so many people never really ask interesting questions?

What are the best questions you've ever been asked?

What questions do you find yourself consistently asking that lead to real connection?

How can you go beyond the surface level questions ("Where are you from?" "How's it going?" "How about this weather?")

What are the questions you find yourself consistently asking that lead to surface level blah-ness?

If you could go back and ask someone from your past one question, what would it be? Why aren't you asking questions like that to the people who are in your life today?

Is there any meaningful moment of human connection in your life that didn't include someone being curious?

What do you really wish your partner, kid, parent, love interest, boss, teacher, or best friend would ask you, but they've never asked?

What are the big questions about life, death, God, the universe, sex, politics, and that kind of stuff that you want to ask but never have?

What is the question that gnaws at you but you can’t seem to find the answer?

What percentage of conversations in any given day do you lead with questions as opposed to statements or stories about yourself?

What if instead of waiting for your turn to talk in a conversation, you kept saying things like, "Tell me more" and "Why?" and "How?"?

How would your work or school life improve if you forced yourself to ask 10% more questions every day than normal?

Who is the person in your life that always asks the best questions? Can you ask them to teach you how they do it?

Did you know that asking about a person's FAMILY or FRIENDS, what they do for FUN, where they're FROM, and what their FAVORITE things to do are can be great ways to just remember "f words" to keep your conversations going?

Have you noticed how many questions I've asked you?

Will you ask more questions today?

Did you know that CURIOSITY is one of the “4 Pillars of Social Excellence”? Have you read our book? What if I told you we believe that being more intentionally curious every day can lead to a happier, more successful, more fulfilling life? What if “curiosity” isn’t just about questions, but is also about how humbly you enter into any moment? What if “curiosity” was a challenge to be a learner more often, to be a listener more often, and to accept uncertainty as a point of pride?

Speaking of; why don’t we celebrate uncertainty more? What if we chose to relish uncertainty? What if "I'm not sure, but I'm trying to learn" became our mantra? What if all you've been told about what's certain couldn't possibly be if many others are certain about their (almost certainly different) point of view? 

What if our curiosity, our wonder, our inquisitiveness, and our sense of possibility are the most powerful tools we have?

Will you accept a “DARE” to only talk in questions for the rest of your day just to see what happens?