This is part of a series of articles on Social Excellence in the workplace called “The Relationship Business Series.” Because after all, we’re all in the relationship business. For more helpful content like this, sign up for (free) The 21 Days of Social Excellence.

by Matt Mattson

Your co-workers are complicated.

Jane in accounting always seems hurried and tasky and cold. But did you know she has a history of multiple traumas in her life. She lost a parent in a tragic accident at a young age, and she was assaulted in college. She's very afraid of getting close to people, even though she deeply longs for it.

Pedro in the HR department is the loud, party guy, right? Kind of annoying sometimes. But that guy tries so hard to bring joy to his work-life, because he knows that when he goes home to care for his aging mother, he can't bring the energy that is so important to his identity. In fact, it's been really hard for him since his mom started sleeping all the time and he needs to keep things quiet for the whole afternoon and evening at home.

Samantha, the marketing manager, often appears distant and detached during team meetings. Little do her colleagues know that she battles chronic anxiety and depression, which make it difficult for her to fully engage and express herself. She constantly worries about being judged or misunderstood.

David, the software developer, often keeps to himself and avoids social interactions. Behind his introverted nature lies a painful divorce that left him emotionally scarred. He struggles with feelings of loneliness and insecurity, making it challenging for him to trust others and form new connections.

Sarah, the customer service representative, is known for her short temper and occasional outbursts. Few realize that she is going through a difficult custody battle, fighting for the well-being of her children. The stress and emotional strain have taken a toll on her, causing moments of frustration and vulnerability.

Jamal, over in IT, is great at his job. But nobody has ever really asked him what truly makes his heart soar. So nobody really gets him. See, he's a youth hockey coach over at the YMCA and he's mentored and cared for hundreds of kids over the last 10 years. He's one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, most compassionate people those kids have ever known... but at work, he's just the guy you ask to fix your email.

Michael, the project manager, always seems overworked and stressed. He carries the weight of financial struggles and mounting debt, as he supports his family while also pursuing his dream of starting a business. The pressure to succeed often keeps him awake at night, impacting his ability to focus and maintain a calm demeanor.

Lisa, the administrative assistant, is frequently seen wearing long sleeves, even in warm weather. Unbeknownst to her colleagues, she battles self-harm urges as a coping mechanism for deep-rooted emotional pain. Each day is a battle for her to overcome the inner turmoil that others cannot see.

What about you?